She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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