Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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