I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
