Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
