I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
