i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
