I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
