Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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