I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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