In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize