I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
ttyl tear gas
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
