How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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