You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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