Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
