Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
