He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
