Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
