We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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