i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
