No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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