well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
