babies were throwing up all over the place
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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