After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
