Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
