I am in a vortex of obligation.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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