Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
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You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
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But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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