Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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