Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
