This house was built for laser tag.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize