Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
