question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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