He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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