It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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