If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
