Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
