please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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