it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?