My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.