I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy