me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.