So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
dude. I can hear the air.
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