belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
