I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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