I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
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This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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