and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
