Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize