oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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