Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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