I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
