If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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