When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
