I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
