Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
