Christians are straight up FREAKS
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
