so that wasnt chicken after all
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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