I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
