don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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