God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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