First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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