spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
