There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize