Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
