I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize